Remember To Dream, Vol. 17
"There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward." - Khalil Gibran
The Fraudulent Syndrome
“No matter what we've done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’”
“You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?’”
“The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.”
These aren’t the kind of quotes you’d naturally attribute to some of the most successful people in their fields, but that’s where they’re from.
Nobody is immune to Impostor Syndrome. Not Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep, or even Albert Einstein.
Many successful people do not believe they are worthy of their own success. Deep down, they feel as if they’ve conned the world or simply gotten lucky. They fear that it’s only a matter of time before the truth about their success is discovered.
I know this feeling all too well. Despite the fact that I have accomplished things most people have not even had the courage to attempt, I regularly downplay them.
I point to the things I have not done. I tell myself that I’ve only achieved things, because I grew up with a silver spoon. I convince myself that I would have gotten nowhere without other people’s support.
The end result is that I shy away from discussing my accomplishments. I dislike being asked what I do for a living or what I have done for the last few years of my life.
I embody all the classic symptoms of Impostor Syndrome. I feel like a fraud that has gotten lucky who has accomplished things that really aren’t all that impressive.
I used to think that this was a rare affliction. That only insecure and unworthy people experienced these feelings. That it was a reflection of my truth and unique inferiority.
Then I began to read up on Impostor Syndrome and I discovered that it’s far more common than I thought. In fact, it affects most high-achievers, even those that are the best in the world at what they do.
It turns out that human beings are peculiar creatures. We torture ourselves for no good reason. We become victims of our imagination, allowing it to craft false narratives about our lives, when the truth is far more reassuring.
Like any irrational fear, Impostor Syndrome is a product of our perception. It is not grounded in reality. It is an artificial construct of our minds. One that serves no purpose other than to take joy away from the present moment.
So, what is Impostor Syndrome? Why do we experience it? And what can we do to overcome it?
Is it necessarily even a bad thing? That’s the most interesting question of all.
What Is Impostor Syndrome?
Put simply, it is the feeling that you are unworthy of success.
And it comes in four flavors:
“I must not fail” Failing means being exposed as a phony. It validates our deepest insecurities and confirms that we are undeserving of any success.
“I feel like a fraud” Any success we have achieved is undeserved. We are only here because we somehow deceived others into believing we earned our place at the table. We are unqualified and it is only a matter of time before we are exposed.
“It’s all down to luck” Our success is down to chance. We didn’t earn it. We don’t deserve it. We fear that we will not be able to succeed again in the future.
“Success is no big deal” Our accomplishments really aren’t that impressive. Anyone could have done what we did under the right circumstances.
Impostor Syndrome is often linked to other feelings of self-doubt, such as fear of success, fear of failure, or self-sabotage. It is pervasive, manifesting as an ongoing fear of exposure and rejection.
It usually rears its head at monumental points in our lives, such as when we start a new job, earn a promotion, open a business, or become a parent. The bigger the milestone, the more we feel like a fraud.
Although it’s likely that Impostor Syndrome has existed for millennia, it was only recognized in 1978, when the term was coined by two American psychologists, Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes.
Experts estimate that it affects at least 70 percent of the population. There aren’t many psychological conditions that are so widespread.
What Are The Signs?
At its most extreme, Impostor Syndrome is a continuous lack of confidence that eats away at every moment in a person’s life. It can reduce our ability to enjoy our success or take compliments.
Many people who experience Impostor Syndrome are perfectionists and subsequently experience all the negative emotions that come with that. This translates to a fear of failure, a fear of success, self-sabotage, overthinking, anxiety, stress, emotional and physical burnout, and ultimately, unhappiness.
When we experience Impostor Syndrome, we are subconsciously comparing ourselves to others and usually in a negative light. We are viewing the world in black and white. Either we’re good enough or we’re not, ignoring the fact that we all have room to grow.
When we view ourselves as impostors, we discount our accomplishments and place excessive focus on our deficiencies. By failing to celebrate our wins, we go on as if they don’t exist. By emphasizing our mistakes, we create a negative self-image that betrays reality. So when we do succeed, we convince ourselves that it was only down to luck.
This is the real peril of Impostor Syndrome. Once you are locked into it, it is not easy to pull yourself out, because you only process information that reinforces your feelings of insecurity. It can become a lifelong affliction if not dealt with effectively.
How Do You Overcome It?
Impostor Syndrome is a creation of our imagination. It is our mind literally fooling us into thinking we are not worthy of success. It is a subconscious choice to focus solely on information that reinforces a negative self-image.
Anything created by our mind can be destroyed by our mind. Our thoughts are the antidote to Impostor Syndrome. And we can overcome it simply by building habits that focus our mind on the positive.
Keep a running list of your accomplishments Compile details about every achievement you have made in your life. Include emails containing praise, records of positive impact you have had on others, certificates, letters of recommendation, and awards. Create a list or a mood board documenting your accomplishments and review it often.
Become a mentor The best way to remind yourself of how much you know is by teaching others. Mentoring someone uncovers your knowledge and gives you the opportunity to have a positive impact on someone else. As you become more knowledgeable in your field and contrast this to someone just starting out, it gives you a sense of your progress and boosts your confidence.
Remind yourself of your ability to grow When you doubt yourself, acknowledge that everyone is unsure of themselves, particularly at the start of something new, and reassure yourself that although you may not have all the answers, you’re flexible enough to identify and learn them.
Keep a journal Journaling has so many benefits and one of them is that it helps you gain clarity around your thoughts. Whenever you experience feelings of self-doubt or inadequacy, write them down and explain why you’re feeling this way. Be as specific as possible about each situation. The chances are that when you write it out, you'll see that you shouldn’t worry about the situation.
Why It Can Be A Good Thing
Impostor Syndrome is more common among high-achievers than those who have smaller ambitions in life. It is something we experience when we have just reached a major milestone or are attempting something new and uncertain. Those who push themselves beyond their limits encounter these moments more frequently.
Think of it this way. You can only truly experience Impostor Syndrome when you’ve enjoyed success in some aspect of your life.
Impostor Syndrome is a sign that you are moving outside your comfort zone. It indicates that you are challenging yourself and that you are on a path toward personal growth. If it doesn’t exist, it is likely that you aren’t doing anything exciting and could be interpreted as a sign that you need to reassess your life goals.
Feeling like an impostor can help keep your ego in check. It reduces the likelihood that you think you already know everything and shifts you closer to a flexible, growth mindset, in which you are more open to learning. Self-doubt can be a healthy source of motivation and lead to personal growth.
Finally, Impostor Syndrome can be an indicator of success. It is a sign that you are advancing further in your field and improving at your craft. The more success you enjoy, the more likely you are to feel undeserving of it. Rather than dwell on feelings of insecurity, use them to drive you toward further personal growth.
The Real Fraud
Nobody likes to feel insecure, but sometimes insecurity can be channeled in a positive way. Feeling like an impostor can push you to work harder and aim higher. It ensures that you are too uncomfortable to settle for your position in life, because you always feel as if you have more to prove.
Discomfort is a prerequisite for growth. It requires us to change and motivates us to act. Comfort, on the other hand, involves experiencing the familiar. And when things are too familiar, it means we don’t learn anything new.
In this way, Impostor Syndrome can be viewed as a precursor to achievement, because it indicates discomfort. It is a sign that you are doing something right. That you are on a path towards personal growth. And that you are making progress.
It is no coincidence that it is so common among the world’s highest achievers. Almost anyone that has achieved anything of note has experienced Impostor Syndrome.
If you have any serious ambitions at all, remind yourself that feeling like a fraud is a good place to start. In fact, it may be the only place to start. The best foundation for driving you closer to achieving your goals.
So, embrace the feeling, because we might have all been fooled into thinking that Impostor Syndrome is a bad thing.
And that might be the most fraudulent thought of all.
Ponder This
“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you are wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other people’s lives better.”
- Will Smith
Practice This
Five questions designed to help you overcome Impostor Syndrome, courtesy of Dan Beverly.
Which of your successes are you not taking ownership of? To help make a more objective assessment of your achievements: make a personal success inventory. List recent key achievements. And for each: make a note of your skills, capabilities and personal qualities that contributed to your success.
Which of your beliefs about success are holding you back? Ask yourself: what do I need to do, to be, and to have in order to be successful? Make some notes. And now think about any beliefs you possess about your perceived limitations. Make an objective reassessment and challenge of these beliefs. Which of your beliefs are supporting you? Which of your beliefs are holding you back? What would be the effect of updating your beliefs? How would things be different?
Which of your strengths are you overlooking? Conduct a strengths inventory by making a list of things you do well. What strengths have you overlooked? What’s not on the list? What common themes do you notice? Add these strengths to your list.
Who are you talking to about this? Look for a trusted confidant. Frame your issues as a temporary struggle with confidence, a bout of procrastination or perfectionism. Keep it light and conversational.
When you beat Impostor Syndrome, what will you be losing? For many, Impostor Syndrome may have contributed to their success by driving them to work harder. Ask yourself: how has the Impostor Syndrome been serving you? What do you stand to lose by overcoming it? Look to develop alternative and more productive behaviors to maintain the desired benefits you have been accruing from Impostor Syndrome.
Play This
Every week, I share some of the music I listen to when I write. Studies have shown that playing a song or short playlist on repeat helps put you into a state of flow, which is optimal for creativity. The choice of music is up to you. I choose music that reflects the energy I want to infuse in my work. Most of the time, this means dreamy, melodic deep house. But sometimes, when I’m writing about something raw, I go with old school hip hop.
Here’s a link to a master playlist of all the songs I’ve shared so far.
I’d love to hear your feedback or connect with you. Email me at omar@omarfarha.com.