Remember To Dream, Vol. 18
“Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life.” - Robin Sharma
One For The History Books
What a year.
It may be the first time that we've all shared adversity from the same source. That our struggles aren't just ours.
Covid-19 emerged gradually, before suddenly becoming a global crisis. It shattered any semblance of order and stability we thought we had, exposing many of our leaders as frauds, baring many countries' flaws for the world to see.
This virus has ruthlessly and dramatically ripped off our emperors' clothes. It has also flipped the world order. The US can no longer be described as a beacon of democracy or the world's undisputed economic leader. The UK can no longer be considered a role model for rationality and common sense.
And China has emerged as the biggest winner in all of this, growing its economy despite the global recession.
On an individual level, companies have gone out of business, restaurants have been forced to close, many of us have had our salaries cut or been let go, or even worse, contracted the virus or lost loved ones to it.
The last twelve months have been life changing for everyone, no matter who you are.
For many, Covid-19 has triggered a welcome reset. It has provided us with an opportunity to reflect on our lives and chart a new course for the future. It has opened our eyes to the appeal of remote working, suburban and rural living, and the value of time spent with family.
For others, Covid-19 has been a torturous experience. It has deprived us of socializing freely and prevented us from traveling. It has kept our children at home and away from friends. It has also thrown our financial future off course.
Some of us will remember 2020 as a wasted year. Others will remember it as a pivotal turning point.
I will remember 2020 as the most challenging and rewarding year of my life. It had everything. Stress. Loss. Sadness. Joy. Growth. A year’s worth of drama packed into what felt like a week, such was the intensity of the experience.
I launched a new business on Valentine's Day: a wearable technology product that had taken three years to develop. A few weeks later, it became clear that Covid-19 was going to be a major global problem. Our funding was pulled at the last minute and we suddenly found ourselves in a crisis situation. We had to figure out how to keep the company afloat on a budget that was only meant to cover us for three months.
I had to make some difficult decisions, cutting my team's salaries, putting them on unpaid leave for a period of time, and restructuring our entire business to stretch our runway as much as possible.
I reached out to one venture capital firm after another, but the odds were never in our favor, pitching an unproven, high-end discretionary product during a global pandemic.
It was mentally and emotionally exhausting.
At the same time, my wife and I found ourselves stuck in London, away from our home in New York. We were fortunate to have a place to stay, but our world had been turned upside down.
Like everyone else, our plans for the year were ruined. We had to adjust to the new normal until things became normal again - which, as it turns out, has taken far longer than anyone could have ever imagined.
We spent nine months in isolation with our sixteen-month old son, doing everything we could to entertain him and maintain the illusion that everything was just fine.
But, it wasn't.
We were overwhelmed. We barely had time to breathe. There were days when we both felt like giving up. Like it was all too much. There were moments when we felt like we had hit rock bottom.
The situation reached its lowest point at the end of May. We were still renting our apartment in New York, but it had become clear that we wouldn't be returning anytime soon.
We decided to give up our apartment and move all our things into storage. But it wasn’t a straightforward decision. We struggled with it for weeks.
We love New York. We weren’t ready to leave. This was our home and its contents were our whole life. Twenty years' worth of stuff. Everything we had ever owned.
But it was the wise thing to do under the circumstances, so we pressed on. I flew to New York for three days, leaving my wife and son behind, at the height of the pandemic, while the Black Lives Matters protests were at their most furious.
I arrived in the city on the first day of the curfew. That night, looters rampaged through SoHo, breaking shop windows and stealing things. I could hear helicopters high above the skyline all night. I could see the flames and flashing police lights from the roof of my building. It was surreal. Straight out of an apocalyptic movie.
It wasn't the New York I remembered. Covid-19 and the riots had sucked the life out of the most dynamic city in the world.
There are 480 units in our apartment building. Only 40 were occupied. Everyone had fled the city for the suburbs or other states. Shops were closed and boarded up. There were barely any people on the streets.
I packed up our entire apartment in two days and flew back to London. It was a whirlwind. One of the least enjoyable trips of my life. To this day, I can barely piece it together. Our items arrived from New York yesterday and I have no idea what I packed or where anything is.
I was relieved to be back in London, but I missed New York. The city that I love. The city that I will always love. But the city I left behind was a shadow of its former self. Broken. Defeated. Suddenly old and weary.
Seeing the most charismatic city in the world reduced to a desolate ghost town was heartbreaking.
We spent the next six months in London, doing more of the same. Isolated. Cautious. Mostly homebound. By the time November rolled around, we were itching to leave. We were wary of what Winter would hold. The government had proven itself to be clueless, and the public impatient and irresponsible.
We packed up our things and flew to Dubai for the warm weather, and to be closer to family and friends.
Then I contracted Covid-19 four weeks later.
It felt like a slap in the face. After all the precautions we had taken in London. After all the sacrifices we had made, not seeing friends or family for more than nine months.
To get the virus and have to self-isolate for two weeks without being able to play with my son or sleep in the same room as my wife was the final straw in a year of relentless gut punch after gut punch.
I was angry and bitter. I felt sorry for myself. How could this happen to me when I had been so careful? How could everything I had worked for disappear in the blink of an eye? How? How? How?
Once I had finally calmed down and reflected on it, I realized something. Life happens no matter how hard you try to fight it or how meticulously you plan. Life will throw things at you that shatter your expectations. Life is unpredictable and that's what makes it beautiful.
I had been so cautious and planned my every movement to avoid getting the virus, but I got it anyway. At the same, many of my friends had gone about their lives as normal, without taking nearly as many preventive measures, and they remained unscathed.
It was a tough, but valuable lesson. Too much planning can be counterproductive. Planning at the expense of living your life can be downright destructive.
Life happens no matter what you do, so rather than overthink everything and try to control every possible variable, let it wash over you. Accept the things that happen. Be grateful for what you have. And make the most of every moment.
It's funny how the "bad" things that happen often turn out to be the best things that ever happened.
It also doesn't matter what life throws at you. Nothing is strictly good or bad. Everything depends on how you respond. You get to choose the impact of the things that happen in your life.
A highly contagious airborne virus forces everyone to be locked down for months? You can either get depressed or use the extra time and solitude to start something new.
A business you've been running for eight years suddenly goes into a death spiral? You can either wallow in self-pity or recharge for your next venture.
You're forced to move from the place you've called home for almost twenty years? You can either dwell on the past or focus on building a bright future somewhere else.
Life happens and there's nothing you can do to stop it.
Rather than waste your energy planning, spend it living.
Rather than limit yourself by fearing the worst, free yourself by hoping for the best.
Rather than focus on the negative consequences, pay attention to the positives. There is always a silver lining.
2021 has already started with a bang. We don't know what the year holds for us and it really doesn't matter. If we're flexible and accepting, we'll make the most of whatever comes our way. We'll find ways to be happy no matter what happens.
We can guarantee we have a good year simply by adjusting our mindset. We can plan to have the best year of our lives by embracing the unpredictability of life.
Life is a grand adventure. It would be boring if we already knew what happened next.
So, this year, my resolution is to celebrate uncertainty. I will leave my expectations at the door and throw my plans in the trash. I will think less and live more. And I will make choices that make me happy.
Life really can be that simple, if we choose to make it so.
Ponder This
“Joy is not a choice. It’s not a response to some result. It’s a constant. Joy is the feeling that we have from doing what we are fashioned to do, no matter the outcome.”
- Matthew McConaughey
Practice This
Value setting to identify the driving forces behind your actions.
Your values are the criteria you use to decide whether an action is right or wrong. They guide your decisions and provide meaning in your life. Once you identify your values, you can use them as a checklist to evaluate any choices that come your way.
Values are abstract concepts (like fun, integrity, learning, or security) rather than specific things. This means that they can be fulfilled in many different ways.
Choose an area of your life, e.g. career, relationship, health.
Ask yourself: “What is important to me about it?”
Write down the immediate answer that comes to mind.
Continue to ask: “What else is important to me about it?”
Aim for a list of five to ten values for each area of your life.
Play This
Every week, I share some of the music I listen to when I write. Studies have shown that playing a song or short playlist on repeat helps put you into a state of flow, which is optimal for creativity. The choice of music is up to you. I choose music that reflects the energy I want to infuse in my work. Most of the time, this means dreamy, melodic deep house. But sometimes, when I’m writing about something raw, I go with old school hip hop.
Here’s a link to a master playlist of all the songs I’ve shared so far.
I’d love to hear your feedback or connect with you. Email me at omar@omarfarha.com.